Patrick Swayze

I was watching Road House today, and I realized (for the second time) that Swayze is consistently a really good actor who’s consistently in baaaaddddd movies.  (i.e.  Point Break, Dirty Dancing, Too Wong Fu, Black Dog, Red Dawn, etc.)

Another “observation”

I don’t know this actor’s name and neither do you, but I’m sure you’ve seen a minimum of six movies in which he’s starred (the only ones I can remember are Good Night and Good Luck and A League of Their Own).  He’s really noticeable because he looks completely and utterly out of place in every scene that he’s ever been in.  He always plays a guy who is seemingly good-hearted, but ultimately untrustworthy.  Even if he’s not necessarily a bad guy in his role, he’s still untrusting towards himself, his confidence, and his ability to achieve.  He was amazing in The River Wild though.

http://www.david-strathairn.com/photos/images-film/river-wild41.jpg

Mirrored Parental Neglect of the ’90s

Why is it that every single movie made in the ’90s is rooted in the subplot of a prepubescent boy’s strained relationship with his workaholic father?

“Meryl Streep is a really good actress”

Anytime Meryl Streep comes up in conversation (as if it’s a regular happening), someone always remarks that “Meryl Streep is a really good actress.”  Okayyyyyy…Yeah. I know that.  Everybody says that.  I know that I’m supposed to know that Meryl Streep is a “really good actress.”   The problem is that, I’ve seen several Meryl Streep movies, and she’s not bad by any means, but she doesn’t seem as “good” as she’s supposed to be.  Like I said, she’s not a bad actress by any means, but every time I watch a movie with Meryl Streep, she’s not as transcendentally good as she’s supposed to be, and then I’m left disappointed with an unopened box of tissues.  So I’m starting to think the popular belief that Meryl Streep is a really good actress is nothing more than a lie, just like Wyoming.

That’s right, Meryl Streep is like Wyoming.

I mean think about it.  Have you ever been to Wyoming?  Do you know anybody from Wyoming?  Do you even know anybody who’s ever coherently been to Wyoming?  Yeah, that’s because Wyoming doesn’t really exist. 

And to answer your question: Yes.  Lies surrounding the literal existence of a sovereign state named Wyoming is probably tied into a 9/11 cover-up somehow.

Pretty strong refutability of the assertion that Canadians are lame.

For anybody that thinks Canadians are lame:  RECOGNIZE.  This shit is awesome. 

And who had the courage to do it?  That’s right, a Canadian.  This guy should receive some sort of national recognition for his brave, selfless act.

p.s.  Note how after the incident, Liam Gallagher runs completely out of the frame, but then returns in an unconvincingly threatening stance only once there are four bouncers restraining the assailant.  Typical.

John McCain vs. John Kerry

It’s funny how the guy who actually was a war hero gets painted as a coward and discredited while the guy who spent two years in a tiger cage is the greatest American patriot since Davy Crockett.

Sarah Palin’s speech and the media’s coverage

My friend Steve has been worried about all the good press McCain and Palin have been getting lately.  I know a lot of us are wondering how the shit this election is as close as it is?  How is McCain hanging in there?  Has everybody lost their minds? 

And yes, I too have been a little worried since the Republicans’ “successful” convention.  However, I remembered something today that made me feel a little bit better.  The media is a business. 

I watched the introductory speech Sarah Palin gave the other day.  All reports proclaimed her speech to be a great success.  Now, I make no attempts to hide my Democratic bias in this election, but I don’t think what Palin said was that great, and I don’t think it’s just because I’m biased.  This is how it basically went:

The first seven minutes of her twenty-minute speech were spent by her introducing her utter gimmick of a family.  Then she went on for a while about McCain SERVING America in combat and in Congress.  Blah, blah, blah.  She restated her experience in politics (which was, coincidentally, the only important thing we already knew about her), painted herself as a simple “Hockey Mom,” then took some shots at Obama.  Done.

I heard about the amazing reports of her speech before I had seen it and I thought to myself, “She was excellent huh? Well, I guess I better see this.”  And then I was bored to death for the next 20 minutes.  I was wondering if I’d seen the same speech as the media reporters had.  When the media says that she did a good job, I think they merely meant that she didn’t fuck up.  However, I don’t think she said anything that would give voters reason to support her, because she didn’t really say anything of any importance.  She told us who she was, that was about it.  So why all the excellent media coverage?

Well, we all have to keep one thing in mind:  the media has everything to gain by the presidential race being disgustingly close.  

Think about the media coverage of the presidential race.  It’s all about the ratings.  There is election coverage on TV 24 hours of the day, not to mention coverage in the newspapers, magazines, radio, etc.  I’d imagine that voters would be far more inclined to keep up with election coverage if the race were dangerously close than if the race were projected to end in a landslide. 

The polls?  Inaccurate.  Polls aren’t very successful at including some important demographics (i.e. young voters) into their projections.  So I think it would be best for us all to ignore polls as well as most of the media hoopla, pay attention to the candidates, and have faith in our candidate, whoever it may be (as long as it’s not McCain).

“Palin is more qualified than Obama”

That’s the new unofficial unique thought of every republican for the month.  It’s the same as “Kerry is a flip-flopper.”  It’s an irrational, unfounded idea that stupid people believe because it sounds like a credible statement.  I just read that McCain is planning to run a campaign ad that declares Palin is more qualified for the job of U.S. President than Obama.  Then I went on youtube and saw an interview with Republican former House Speaker, Newt Gingrich, at the RNC articulating the same point ever so passionately, as if it were his own initial idea. 

Here’s some better perspectives on Palin:

“She’s been mayor of a city half the size of Blue Ash and governor of a state with half the population of Hamilton County,’ Brown said. ‘John McCainfailed in his first big decision as a potential president. He chose somebody with no experience to be a heartbeat away from being the U.S. president.’” – U.S. Sen. Sherrod Brown (Steve Kemme, “At Picnic, Brown Slams Palin,” Cincinnati Enquirer, 9/2/08)

Daschle: “Three questions: With absolutely no experience, are we ready, if necessary, to place our future in her hands as commander in chief and our premier negotiator with other world leaders? Are we comfortable in having a VP who represents the extreme right wing, including the advocacy of creationism and a denial of any human responsibility in climate change? What happens if Gov. Palin is found to have abused her office in the firing of a police officer?” (“Politico Arena — Palin Edition,” The Politico, 8/31/08)

Here’s my spiel on Coldplay

People always get mad at me for bitching about the stupid music that they like.  They hate my complaining and probably hate me for it, and I know this.  Contrary to popular belief, I really feel like I try to make an effort not to rip apart bands in the presence people who actually like those bands, but there is something innate inside of me, at the very core of my true essence, that does not allow me to let the stupidity in the musical preferences of others go free of scorn.  You can liken my indebtment to that of a misled Christian, who feels that it’s their responsibility to God to warn disbelievers of the repercussions of their poor decisions.  I suppose I probably feel the same way about addressing musical preferences as religious policy.  The one defense of a personal choice that I can’t stand is “I just like what I like.”  Well okay, that may be true, but just like with religion, if you’re preferences and beliefs can’t hold up to scrutiny or opposing ideas, then do you truly endorse those ideas?

With that said, Coldplay sucks! 

Coldplay is a band that I think people thoughtlessly like.  I mean I’ll admit it, there’s a lot of melody in their songs, and it’s easy to listen to them, and certainly they’re not the worst band in the world.  But there’s something so epic about Coldplay, and that’s what I can’t stand about them. 

Every single song that those guys put out, is sooo incredibly epic !  And that’s easy to win fans over with.  You don’t even need to hear the lyrics to be moved by the power of their music.  I mean, adding a full orchestra to songs is ok from time to time.  I know when I was 19, I used to think that the epitome of a good song was one that had a full orchestra.  But when a band does that song after song, after song, it gets old.  And then it seems like they’re leaning on the palatability of strings and horns.  Then, it seems as though they are incapable of writing a song that does not instinctively have an emotionally, all-encompassing feel to it.  It’s as if every song on their records has to transcend musical properties and go on to triumphantly save the world.  Fuck.  Just play a song that nobody cares about every once in a while, to lighten the mood.  When I think of what a Coldplay  concert might be like, I envision everybody in the audience crying because they are moved by the beauty of life, in a general sense. 

Actually, the epicness is not the only thing I can’t stand about Coldplay.  Chris Martin (the singer with the teeth like Madonna) is an asshole.  I mean, on the surface he looks like a really nice guy, and I bet he is a really nice guy in person,  like the type of guy who’s really nice to waiters, but I can just tell he’s a douche underneath his angelically transcendent persona.  Have you ever seen a Coldplay video?  I think I’ve seen all of them.  They all seem pretty different, but they’re actually all the same.  Each video is basically  Chris Martin’s unimpressive face in front of the camera for 88% of the video.  Honestly, have you ever even seen what any of the other members of Coldplay look like?  I’m pretty sure they’re white.  Beyond that, I have absolutely no idea.  If that’s not saying something about Chris Martin’s inflated ego, then what is it saying?  There is the possibility that maybe the record label is trying to use Chris Martin’s good looks as a tool to sell records.  However, that theory is quickly diffused because Chris Martin, despite his marriage to Gwyneth Paltrow, is uglier than a bag of snakes.  Seriously, he looks like white trash.  If Chris Martin were American, he would’ve been in the movie Gummo. 

Epic qualities and an inflated ego?  Hmm where does that sound familiar from?  Ba-ba-ba-BONO. 

Their new album, which I haven’t heard much of, nor will I attempt to, seems to have finally gone over the edge of subtlety as the visual manifestation of their self-proclaimed revolutionary status has moved from the backgroud to the foreground.  I’m really not digging the whole leather and revolution style they got going on.  They look like Les Miserables meets Mad Max.  And there is nothing revolutionary about Coldplay.  I assure you that you can go to bed tonight knowing that there is nothing important about that band.

Quite possibly the best line of all time

“God created dinosaur.  God destroyed dinosaur.  God created man.  Man destroyed God.  Man created dinosaur.”

Anybody?